Inevitability
by potatobiscuit
Summary: *Spoilers for the season* The story of how Piper and Alex find their way back to each other.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my first ever attempt at fanfiction, but after binge-watching Orange Is The New Black this wouldn't stop bugging me until I wrote it. I'll definitely need encouragement to continue though, so please review, I want to hear the good and the bad :) This ended up having a lot more dialogue than I intended, but I decided to post it as it was to see what you guys thought.**

Piper never would have thought she had it in her. All the rage, all the heartbreak, the pent up frustration of the past few weeks came bubbling up to the surface and possessed her body as she repeatedly beat the crazy meth-head who had tried to kill her. Until Doggett's body stopped moving under her. Until she could feel the bones in her hand break. Until she finally came to her senses and recoiled in horror at the unrecognisable face in the snow, battered and covered in blood. Blood that she had put there. Some of it her own, dripping profusely from the cut on her hand. What had she done?

She doesn't remember how she got to the hospital. Apparently Bennett found her by Pennsatucky's body, hugging her own knees and wailing like a madwoman so that she had to be sedated. She woke up with her right arm in a cast and the left one handcuffed to the bed, her brain spinning from the drugs they had given her to calm her down and numb her hand.

Polly was by her side while Bennett stood at the edge of the room. He nodded his head in acknowledgement, seeming pleased that she was awake, and turned his back to give the two friends what privacy he could.

- "Hey kid. You're awake." Polly leaned over to stroke Piper's shoulder, eyeing her with a mixture of worry, sympathy, and something else that Piper couldn't quite place in her current state.

- "Pennsatucky..."

Polly looked at her like she was crazy. "Po-lly" she enunciated, as though trying to teach a toddler how to talk.

- "No, Pennsatucky – Doggett, is she...?" Piper coughed. Her throat was dry, her tongue felt like cardboard.

Polly poured her a cup of water from the bedside table and helped her sit up to drink, affectionately brushing a few strands of hair away from her forehead. She would be a great mother. Was, Piper corrected herself. She was a mother already.

- "The inmate whose face you broke your hand on?"

- "She tried to kill me!" Piper replied defensively. It was funny how easy the two friends found it to slip back into sarky banter. Well, it would be if the situation weren't so serious. Polly looked at her with concern, in a way that Piper would find condescending if it didn't feel entirely justified.

- "I know, Pipes. I know you wouldn't... she - she's in surgery. They don't know if she's gonna make it."

Piper had never known her friend to have such trouble telling her anything. Polly was not afraid to tell things like they were, and Piper loved her for it. The two had a long history of calling the other out on their bullshit. But suddenly the atmosphere felt tense in the small hospital room. Polly was having trouble looking at her friend, her eyes darting around trying to find something else to settle on.

Fear. That's what had been in her expression earlier on. Polly was afraid of what her friend was becoming, unsure if she recognised her anymore. Not that Piper could blame her.

She started tearing up.

- "Hey. Hey, it's gonna be OK. She'll be fine, I know it."

Piper couldn't help the dry chuckle that escaped her throat, as she started crying in earnest.

- "Nothing's OK. Everything's wrong. I'm hurting everyone who's ever loved me, I may have just killed someone, they're going to send me to max for life and I'm never going to see the love of my life again".

The words tumbled out in a desperate rush, leading Polly to awkwardly try and hold Piper despite the handcuffs and the cast. Bennett turned his head to send an uncomfortable look their way. He knew inmates shouldn't be allowed this much contact from visitors, even in hospital, but he couldn't bear to separate the two. He liked Chapman, and he was a good guy who disagreed with the cruelty of dehumanising inmates by denying them the basic human comfort that was another person's touch.

Piper continued weeping into Polly's shoulder as her friend stroked her hair, murmuring nonsensical comforting noises to calm her down. After Piper's crying subsided, Bennett awkwardly cleared his throat and Polly sat back into her chair after giving the guard a look that made it clear she was not best pleased with this situation.

- "Pipes – you don't know that. I heard one of the guards say that they were getting the CCTV from the yard where you... where it happened, and they'll see it was self-defence. And as for Larry -"

At that, Piper's eyes flicked to Polly's. They had been friends for so long that they could often tell what the other was thinking with a look, to the point that their respective partners sometimes half-joked that they felt left out. And, looking into Piper's slightly sheepish face in that hospital bed, full of pain and guilt and doubt, Polly understood.

- "Oh, Christ Piper. You're not talking about Larry, are you?" Piper looked down. "That bitch sent you to prison! You had something perfect going on with Larry, and she ruined your life!"

- "I committed the crime, Polly! *I* took that money across a border, I deserve to do time. Besides, if I were in her situation I probably would have named her if it meant less time for me."

- "But... I don't get it. You picked him. You were going to marry him just the other day."

Piper shrugged.

- "I make mistakes."

- "Ya think?"

Piper smiled a small, bitter smile, and shook her head, trying to find the words to explain what she felt.

- "I just... I love him, I do. And he said that he loved me, and that he wanted to marry me right now and that we would get through all of this shit together."

- "But...?"

- "When he ended it with me, I was shocked and hurt and sad that the man I had cared so much about was walking away. And I felt guilty for hurting him, because he's such a good man and he was so good to me. But I was also a bit relieved. I think..." Piper paused before her next sentence. She hadn't consciously realised she felt this way until now, but the drugs that were clouding her brain paradoxically gave her a clearer insight into her messed up love life. "I think I chose him because he was safe. He represents the perfect suburban life that I've been trying to build for myself these past few years, so that I could be the nice blonde lady I was always meant to be. But now that I might never see Alex again-"

Polly managed to sigh and roll her eyes at the same time, before pursing her lips to stare at her friend like she was an incorrigible child whom you couldn't help but love, no matter how many times she got herself into trouble.

- "What is it about her, Pipes? I never got it. You know she's bad news."

It was Piper's turn to sigh.

- "I don't know. She... I know she has her flaws."

This earned her another glare, with raised eyebrows this time that left Piper in no doubt that Polly would continue rocking this motherhood gig into her kid's teenage years and beyond.

- "But she probably knows me better than Larry did, she knew the good and the bad and she still loved me. She took a hold of my heart ten years ago and now that I've seen her again I just can't seem to shake her... I can't keep lying to myself, pretending that I'm something I'm not and that I deserve to be in prison less than the others. This is my life now. I have to stop running away from my shit and accept that. And accept the fact that I am undeniably, irrevocably, inevitably in love with Alex Vause."

Piper had almost forgotten that Polly was there. As the words were coming out of her mouth, seemingly of their own accord, she could feel how true they were.

She turned back to her friend, and with a pathetic little shrug she concluded:

- "The heart wants what the heart wants".

- "Well your heart is an idiot, sweetie."


	2. Chapter 2

**Wooow, I always realised that fanfic writers must enjoy reviews and the like, but I hadn't realised quite how motivating that would be, so thank you to all those who have read, followed, favourited and reviewed this, because I wouldn't have carried on without - although I'm also probably posting these with less proofreading and care than I thought I would give to any story I wrote. I'm not sure that made sense. Here's the next chapter.**

- "So now I just have to get her to understand that I want **her**, and not because Larry left me. That I genuinely made the wrong decision. She wants nothing to do with me now though... I don't know how I'm ever going to get her to forgive me for picking him."

Piper sat next to the vent in the SHU, finishing up her lengthy retelling of 'the story of Piper and Alex' to the disembodied voice that she still wasn't entirely sure she hadn't made up.

- "Voice? You still there?"

A few seconds elapsed before the raspy voice replied.

- "Yeah."

- "Not much of a talker, are you?"

- "I prefer to listen."

- "You know, you still haven't told me your name."

Another pause.

- "I think I like being your 'Voice'. So... what are you gonna do?"

- "I'm going to get her back."

Piper Chapman had finally made a decision. It may have taken thinking that she would get a life sentence in a maximum security prison to help her realise it, but she wanted to be with Alex Vause. She knew it now. She had tried so hard to convince herself that she was made for a cosy suburban life with Larry, for the picket fence and the lemon cleanses and the quinoa salads. And she felt that she still wanted some degree of nesting. But not with Larry.

* * *

_When the monsoon hits in Goa, it hits hard. Only a few months after meeting Alex, Piper found herself having cocktails outside on a warm Indian evening, thousands of miles away from where she would've thought she would be before that chance encounter that changed her life._

_Thunder suddenly reverberated all around them, giving barely a few seconds' warning before the hot rain started pouring down. Piper followed the squealing tourists to cover, turning around to find that Alex hadn't followed. There she was, arms up to welcome the downpour with the pure joy that characterised her attitude to life. Alex turned to her and laughed that ringing laugh that made her heart swell, her face full of excitement at life and the surprises it held, and extended her hand to invite Piper to share this moment with her._

_And it was at that moment, as Piper grabbed Alex's hand to join her in her ridiculous, soaking dance of pure happiness, that Piper knew she was addicted. Sure, she was intrigued by this woman who took her to exotic places, and exhilarated at the idea of living her life to the fullest and having stories to tell to those who were still back home. But most importantly, she found that she had somehow ended up madly in love with Alex Vause._

* * *

She was a convicted criminal now. Twice over. Pennsatucky was recovering from the bleeding in her brain, after which she would be sent to max for attacking Piper.

But Piper got 4 more years for GBH, having gone quite a few punches past the point of self-defence after Doggett was lying defenceless underneath her. The video footage from the security cameras thankfully showed that she was attacked first – and how much of a twisted asshole Healey was. That wasn't quite the legal term, but in any case he was suspended (does anyone ever get properly fired in this place?), and Fig was willing to overlook the fact that Piper had a screwdriver in her possession for fear of bad publicity.

5 years. For crimes that she had, in fact, committed. Piper could no longer run away from the fact that her life was turning out distinctly different from how she had pictured it. She realised that a small part of her chose Larry because she thought that she was above all of this, and had somehow ended up in prison unfairly. And so she hung on to her life outside, to the neat yuppie life that she thought she aspired to.

She realised it probably hadn't quite hit her yet that she would be spending the next 5 years in prison. She was dragged straight from hospital through to her hearing and back down to the SHU. She could imagine her mother weeping for what her daughter's life had become, whilst struggling to find a way to explain how she had mothered a convict.

She knew Polly would still be there for her. Or at least she hoped. They were Polly and Piper, the inseparables, and their friendship managed to survive Piper's mad dash around the world with Alex and then the news of the 15-month sentence – surely Polly could continue being her anchor in the outside world. Although this wasn't how it was meant to be, this wasn't the plan. Piper was going to be mini-Polly's godmother. She would have been the cool 'aunt' who got to spoil the kid without the difficult parenting bits. She hoped Polly would forgive her for ruining that.

Actually, Piper knew she would. It might take a bit of time, but the two friends knew each other inside and out, and they were there for each other for the long haul. At the hospital, when Piper confessed to the fact that she wanted Alex, Polly had understood. Of course, Polly would have preferred it if Piper had chosen to marry Larry – and yes, the coincidental rhyming was a common target of late-night jokes – so that they could have all started this next stage of their life together.

But Polly had agreed to at least try and get over her dislike of Alex. Because she had rarely seen Piper so intense, so sure in her decision when she told her that that was who she wanted.

5 years. Piper had 5 years to get Alex back. Alex's sentence was officially 4 years longer than that, ignoring the possibility of early release. But what do 4 years matter, when for the past decade your whole life has worked out in a way that has made this one person, no matter how much you fought against it, the one thing that you really do want out of life?


	3. Chapter 3

**I only remembered after writing this that Red didn't run the kitchen anymore so, err, yeah, that didn't happen for my story. Here's another short chapter from Alex's POV, thank you all so much for the motivation!**

Red sat down across from Nichols in the canteen, and nodded her head towards Alex, who was pushing her food around on her plate, looking miserable.

"What is the matter with your girl?"

Nicky and Red didn't need introductory niceties.

"Not my girl", Nicky replied before shoving a large amount of food into her mouth. Red knew her prison daughter well enough to detect the hint of disappointment in her voice.

"She has not been eating. There is nothing wrong with the food, what is wrong with the girl?"

Red would never describe herself as a gossip, but she liked to know what was going on. Especially when it came to people she cared about, like Nicky. Which was why Red wanted to assess the other inmate's feelings on the current situation.

"Chapman", Nicky said as though it was obvious. Because it was. "Same reason she'll never really be my girl", she shrugged.

* * *

_Alex was ill, and she didn't like it. She lay bundled in the sheets of her fancy hotel room, clutching her dirty tissue like a binky. A lone ray of sunshine peeked in between the drawn curtains, betraying the beautiful day that Alex was missing out on. She had managed to become ill in the middle of the Indonesian summer, of all times. She was struggling to breathe through her blocked nose, and it felt like her brain was throbbing inside her skull._

_She was so busy feeling sorry for herself that she almost missed the sound of the door opening and closing._

_"The great Alex Vause, taken down by a little air con!"_

_"I thought you were supposed to be at the beach", Alex grumbled, refusing to turn around to face what she knew would be an amused look on Piper's face._

_"I was, but people-watching just isn't fun without you". Piper's voice got closer, as Alex felt the mattress sag under the weight of her girlfriend climbing in._

_This time Alex turned around, but made sure she kept as much distance as possible between herself and Piper. Not that it was of much use, as the younger woman crawled to the other side of the massive bed to lie down facing her._

_"What are you doing?" Alex asked suspiciously._

_"Getting into bed with you."_

_Alex pouted._

_"But I'm a disgusting pile of snot!"_

_"Mmm." Piper murmured her agreement, but with a tender expression in her eyes that she hoped made it clear that she didn't mind. "But you're *my* disgusting pile of snot."_

_At this point Alex turned her head to sneeze the most pathetic little sneeze. Piper bit her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. Alex hated to show weakness, Piper wasn't about to add insult to injury by showing just how adorable she thought Alex was right now._

_"I don't want you to see me like this."_

_Piper reached over and started softly ghosting her fingers over Alex's cheek as she looked directly into her eyes._

_"But I *want* to see you like this, Alex. I want to see you in every situation. I'm your girlfriend – I get to see you vulnerable, and I get to be the one to make you feel better."_

_Alex Vause didn't know what to say, which wasn't a very common occurrence. She gave Piper a grateful little smile and nodded as if to give her permission to take care of her. Piper scooted closer to the warm body in front of her and placed an affectionate kiss on top of Alex's head, as she pushed it down to rest on her own chest and started tracing patterns up and down Alex's back with her fingers._

_Maybe being ill had its perks after all._

* * *

Alex lay on her bunk hugging her pillow to her chest. She had been spending a lot of time in bed lately – thankfully she had finally received a new mattress. She would nap to stop herself from feeling the way she did, but lately even her dreams were populated with the same face she couldn't help but see.

Alex knew that the only person who could make her feel better was also the person who made her feel this way in the first place. Piper fucking Chapman. When the alarm rang after the pageant and Doggett and Piper's bodies were seen being carried out on stretchers, Alex's heart stopped as the sounds around her seemed to mute and she felt her blood turn to ice in her veins. Piper had to be OK. Alex wasn't sure she could cope if anything happened to her. She had never felt so terrified in her entire life – this beat the first time she did a deal, even the moment the whole ring got caught and she realised she was headed to prison.

Alex lay catatonic in her bunk, staring at the ceiling except when she was made to stand up for count, for the full two days until Nichols came to give her news of Chapman. Apparently Bennett had seen her, Piper was awake and only had a broken hand, Doggett was the one whose life was in danger. Nichols was impressed by Chapman's handiwork. Alex herself would probably have been a little bit proud if she had had any more room for feelings in her confused heart. Sheer relief must have exuded from Alex's face because Nichols patted her shoulder in a way that showed she was both happy for her and a little bit sad. She knew that what Piper and Alex had, their connection – whether they ended up together or not – was irreplaceable, and that Vause would never have as much room in her heart for her.

Alex was still worried about Piper. Morello drove Piper back from her hearing and found out first hand that Piper got 4 more years before she was sent to the SHU for a month. Piper had found solitary for two days difficult enough, Alex wondered what a whole month would do to her sanity. Not to mention the extra sentence. Piper had told her that the one thing she knew was that she was never ever going back to prison, and now she was staying five times longer than expected. All because of a fucking crazy Bible-banging meth-head that everyone knew was after her. Maybe she could have done something.

But Alex didn't want to care. Alex desperately wanted to pretend that Chapman was dead to her and get on with her life in prison. Piper was the only woman she had ever loved, the only person she had ever trusted with her heart, and she had crushed it. Twice. There was no way that Alex would survive another ride on the Piper Chapman rollercoaster.

And so Alex tried to do what what she did best: she put up walls. She took her bricks of smartass remarks and cockiness and rebuilt the fortress around her heart that Piper Chapman had managed to tear down. Alex would avoid Chapman and go about her life, and maybe one day she could look at her without feeling that familiar squeezing in her chest and twisting in her stomach. Maybe one day the dreams would stop.

**A/N: I realise that so far the story isn't particularly original but I just wanted to cover the consequences of Piper's 'encounter' with Doggett and Alex's reaction before I moved on. I've got an idea of where the next few chapters are going and I promise they've got a bit more substance to them so please stick with me! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's another update - I don't think the chapters are going to keep coming as quickly as they are right now, but I wanted to get this one up. Let me know what you think!**

When Piper got out of the SHU she was thin, frail and mentally exhausted, but also surprised and grateful at how sane she had managed to remain. Formulating a plan to get Alex back and fantasising about the results did much to keep her mind away from being cooped up in a lonely box for weeks on end.

Yet no matter how many times she had tried to mentally prepare herself for seeing Alex again, it didn't stop a wave of nausea from surging through her body as she spotted her in the crowd of inmates that had assembled to welcome her back. She actively sought her out, of course, her eyes scanning the cheery faces for the one that had sent her world spinning so many years ago. Alex, stood at the back of the room, held her gaze for just a second, raised her eyebrows in a disinterested way and left. Piper had never tried so hard to act happy as she turned back to the other inmates.

Piper was sent to the dorms while they sorted out a new bunk assignment for her, since her old one had been given away. She was also suspended from the electrical department as the powers-that-be thought it would be a good idea to keep her away from screwdrivers. The broken hand wouldn't help with her already dubious electrical skills, either.

It was Taystee who gleefully informed her of her new job as she bounced into the dorm that Piper shared with three other inmates.

"I'm the boss of you now, Chapman! You're my library assistant", she announced.

So at least she would get to be around books. There was a silver lining to beating up a fellow convict, after all.

Working with Taystee also meant a lot more social interaction than there had ever been in electrical, the enthusiastic woman yapping away about the gossip Piper had missed out on while she was away.

"...and Leann got so mad that you were coming back and not that crazy fucker that she flipped a whole fucking domino table over and got sent straight to SHU! You should have seen her, it was scary man, she gonna be down there for a while!"

Piper was starting to zone out of the constant flow of words, staring blankly at the shelf she was meant to be placing books on. Taystee looked at her knowingly and asked, "So what you gonna do about that girl of yours, Chapman? You look like a lovesick puppy."

Piper smiled conspiratorially, coming across as a lot more confident than she felt about her plan. "I'm going to woo her."

* * *

_After meeting Alex at the bar that first night, Piper had accepted her invitation to more drinks at her friend's place. She sat alone on the couch, fiddling with the label on her bottle of beer, looking around at the laughing and chatting people around her. This wasn't her crowd, Piper thought. She felt like an insecure teenager again, desperate for acceptance from the cool kids._

_Alex had been dragged to the side by a tall and dark man, but didn't seem particularly focused on what he was saying as her grey eyes kept flicking back to Piper, a cocky half-grin plastered on her face._

_Piper put down her beer and went out onto the balcony for some fresh air. For a few seconds she took in the city lights and the urban noises, wondering what exciting things were going on down there. She heard the doors slide open and turned to see Alex Vause, confidently striding out to join her with a self-assurance that Piper envied yet found so appealing at the same time._

_Alex took a step towards her and with a mocking flourish held out a single yellow flower that she had just stolen from a vase inside._

"_I didn't think you were the kind of girl to give out flowers", Piper teased while taking the extended flower and bringing it to her nose._

"_I'm wooing you", Alex explained, and Piper melted a little bit inside._

"_Yeah?" was all that Piper found to reply, a huge grin threatening to take over her entire face._

"_Yeah," Alex confirmed, her husky voice sending waves of desire through Piper's body. Alex stepped closer until she was breathing the same air as Piper. "Is it working?"_

_Without even waiting for an answer, Alex leaned forward and captured Piper's lips with her own, her hands leaving a trail of sparks along Piper's spine as they came down to rest on her lower back, bringing their bodies closer together. Piper reacted with eagerness, cupping the taller woman's soft face with her hands, and throughout the delicious, magical kiss she couldn't help but wonder at the fact that this incredibly sexy and mysterious woman was kissing her, Piper Chapman, on a balcony. She was lucky enough to have stepped on the wild ride that was Alex Vause, and she couldn't wait to see where it would take her._

* * *

Alex froze when she saw Piper standing at the desk where inmates had to check books out, reading the spines on books piled next to her and making notes in a huge ledger. Of course Piper now worked in the one place that Alex considered her safe haven in prison.

She took a deep breath and braced herself to be as cold as possible as she stepped towards the desk to borrow the novel she had just picked out. Piper seemed to hesitate as to whether she was going to talk to her, and Alex hoped she knew better. Seeming to settle on silence for the moment, Piper took the book that Alex had unceremoniously dumped onto the desk and turned around to fiddle with the ledger. Alex sighed impatiently; apparently Piper hadn't gotten the hang of her new job yet. It wasn't rocket science.

Finally Piper handed the book back to her with a mysterious little smile that sent shivers through Alex's treacherous body. Alex scowled back, roughly grabbed the book from Piper and spun on her heels to leave.

Despite the temporary betrayal from her body, Alex felt that she had done a good job of giving Piper nothing. If she couldn't entirely avoid her – Litchfield wasn't exactly big – she could at least ignore her and make it clear that she wanted nothing to do with her.

But as she opened the book to find a single yellow flower that Piper had found by the track pressed in between its pages, she couldn't help the way her heart leapt inside her chest, or the way the corners of her mouth turned up despite herself at the memory associated with it.

* * *

She waited until she was sure she was as ready to confront Piper as she would ever be. She steeled herself and repeated encouraging words in her own head like an actress preparing to slip into a role. She was angry enough with Piper to channel her resentment into an unpleasant speech, but she wasn't sure she could stop her voice from wavering, betraying just how hurt she was and how much she still cared.

Alex stormed back into the library, and Piper's head snapped up. Alex hated herself for noticing that Piper looked at her like a puppy who knew it was probably going to get kicked but dared to hope for a cuddle instead.

"I thought I was perfectly clear." Alex had arranged her face into a mask of coldness; her low voice sounded dangerous. "I want nothing to do with you. I don't want your love, I don't want your little gestures, I don't want you to woo me. This isn't a petty lover's quarrel that you can fix by being cute. You picked him-" At this point Alex couldn't help how her voice broke and took a deep breath to try and stop her eyes from welling up. "You picked him, and you lost me forever. You can't come running back to me for comfort now that he's left you. We might be stuck in this place together but I plan on seeing you as little as possible while I patiently do my time. And when we get out we are never going to see each other again. Understood?"

Alex fixed Piper with her steely gaze for a second longer, trying to show just how much she meant those words. She turned to leave.

"No." Alex froze, and slowly turned back to face Piper.

"Excuse me?" Alex's words dripped with unpleasantness. Piper looked back at her defiantly, her head held just a little too high to be fully believable in her confidence.

"I'm going to get you back. I made a mistake, Alex. I pick you. If Larry came back to me now I would tell him this. I want *you*. I know you hate me right now, and I know you think you'll never forgive me, but we're in here for the next 5 years and so help me God I will wear you down. We've both screwed each other over and gotten it wrong several times, but you know as well as I do that we love each other, and that we could be perfect once we sort out our shit. So I *am* going to woo you. I'm going to win you back and when we get out of this place we are going to Cambodia."

Piper punctuated her speech with a little nod and turned back to the pile of books that needed sorting, unsure she would be able to stop herself from crying. Alex was, not for the first time since she met Piper Chapman, stunned speechless, and shook her head at Piper's back in disbelief before leaving the library.

Taystee, who had been leaning on a bookshelf nearby throughout the entire encounter wishing she had a bowl of popcorn to go with the show, walked up to Piper. She had stopped pretending to busy herself with books and stood with her eyes closed, one hand on her hip and the other over her mouth, trying to recover.

"Damn, girl". Taystee looked both concerned and impressed. "You two could be in one of those romantic movies you like so much."

**Edit: I've added a little bit in the scene when Taystee's gossiping, for reasons that will become pretty obvious.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Note that I've now edited the previous chapter to include a bit where Taystee tells Chapman that Leann was sent to the SHU for flipping a table over, because plot. I'm sure you can all guess...**

Showering with a cast is hard. Piper had wrapped a plastic bag around her right arm and was extremely frustrated with how difficult simple tasks like washing yourself had become. She secured her towel around her body as best as she could, but in her hurry she tripped on her way out and fell out of the stall.

"Ow. Shit."

She landed right against a soft and warm body, as strong arms wrapped around her and held her steady. Piper stared wide-eyed into Alex's stunned face, just inches from her own. Alex drew a sharp intake of breath and both women stood staring at each other, frozen in position. Alex found it hard enough pretending not to care from a distance without being thrown right against Piper's body, remembering how it felt against her own, without so much as a warning.

The moment seemed to last forever, though it was really only a few seconds. The few seconds it took for Alex to rearrange her features into the stony mask she was adopting around Piper, before she roughly shoved Piper away and barked "Watch it, Chapman."

Both women turned to the sound of footsteps as Nichols walked into the showers, eyeing the scene before her cautiously. Alex walked up to her, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into the nearest shower, throwing a dark look over her shoulder.

As the unmistakeable sounds of kissing started to echo around her, Piper stood staring at the space where Alex had just been, feeling her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. Tears brimming in her blue eyes, she ran out of the room.

* * *

_Piper laughed loudly, obnoxiously at the man's jokes, as her fingers danced around the rim of the glass of champagne she was holding. Alex had dragged her to a fancy party at a hotel in Vienna, full of diplomats and rich traders. As Piper mingled with charming strangers in her dark green cocktail dress and golden earrings, Alex was networking and finalising a few business deals. A far cry from the seedy underbelly of cities that Piper would have associated with heroin, here she was, amongst the glamorous and the elegant, enjoying the free booze and canapés while Alex arranged the moving of large quantities of hard drugs across international borders._

_She felt a hand come to rest on her hip, as Alex joined her and her current partner in conversation with a strange look on her face. "Will you excuse us for a moment?" she said, with a polite smile that didn't reach her eyes. Alex grabbed Piper by the hand, using her other one to take her full champagne glass and slam it down on a bewildered waiter's tray of canapés as she dragged Piper out of the room._

_Piper had no idea what was going on. "Alex, are you OK? What's wrong?"_

_Alex didn't reply, simply pulling Piper into the luxurious hotel bathroom and locking them both inside a stall. Alex shoved Piper against the wall, and stared at her for a second, breathing deeply. Then she lunged forward and kissed Piper roughly, hungrily, all open mouths and teeth dragging on lips. As they broke apart, Alex leaned into Piper's ear and hissed "You're mine". She gently bit Piper's earlobe, before taking it into her mouth and proceeding to kiss and nip her way down Piper's neck._

_Through the want that was starting to completely cloud her brain, Piper managed to break into a smug grin._

"_So that's what this is about. Is the great Alex Vause jealous?"_

_Alex cocked an eyebrow to accompany her incredibly sexy pout and wiped the smirk clear off Piper's face as she roughly stuck her knee between the shorter woman's thighs, applying just enough pressure to elicit a low moan._

"_Say it", Alex commanded, as she removed her knee and began lifting the hem of Piper's dress, nails raking against her thighs tantalisingly slowly._

_Piper's breathing was becoming faster and shakier, as she stared deep into the amused grey eyes in front of her._

"_Say what?"_

_Alex grabbed Piper's silk panties and pulled them down to her knees in one quick swoop._

"_Say that you're mine"._

_Alex ran her index finger through Piper's wet centre once, before slowly bringing it up to her mouth and sucking on it, moaning with pleasure, while never taking her eyes off Piper's._

"_Oh God, Alex. I'm yours. I'm all yours. Please stop teasing."_

_Alex smirked evilly, pleased to have turned Piper into a puddle of need so quickly._

"_All right then", she husked, as she sank to her knees._

* * *

"Morning, losers!" Nichols dumped her tray heavily and joined Piper, Black Cindy, Pousséy and Taystee at the breakfast table.

"Someone's chirpy", Pousséy pointed out.

"Someone just had a very *pleasurable* shower", Nichols said, suggestively wiggling her eyebrows.

Piper abruptly put her spork down, no longer hungry. She stared down at her food, willing herself not to cry in front of everyone.

"Stop acting like I killed your cat, Chapman. I like you but you fucked up, and she made it perfectly clear it was over."

"Not if Chapman has anything to say about it", Taystee quipped. "She going to woooo her", she teased, as the table erupted in a chorus of mocking "oooohs".

Piper glared at Taystee, who just shrugged apologetically and continued laughing with Pousséy.

"You have to stop messing her around, Chapman," Nicky continued. "She's had enough of your drama. I know you two have history but I'm not going to pass up on uncomplicated, mindblowing prison sex because of it." Nichols sent a wink over Piper's shoulder as she watched Alex's strategically staggered arrival at another table.

Piper had had enough. She knew she should learn to develop a thicker skin, but she was still raw from her encounter with Alex earlier, and stood up abruptly to go empty her tray as everyone's eyes followed her. Nicky had the decency to look at least slightly guilty.

Piper went out to the track to try and walk off some of her feelings before heading back to her dorm. Bennett was there to take her to her new bunk. He led her to the suburbs and pointed to a bed with an apologetic look on his face.

On the bunk next to it sat Alex, who looked up from the book she was reading. "You have got to be fucking kidding me".

**Right, that was probably the last in my string of quick uploads, really should get back to work now... As ever, please let me know what you think and what I could improve. Also if you have an idea for a scene that you'd like to read, let me know and I'll see if I can fit it in!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Gaaaah, you guys are wonderful, thank you all so much for all the lovely reviews, especially the few of you who are commenting on every chapter! They're definitely keeping me going, and to show my gratitude here's a short update for today :)**

Well this was going to complicate things. Piper hadn't considered that she might end up bunking with Alex, and she wasn't sure how to tackle the situation. In doubt, she decided to take the safe route of not pushing her too fast, too soon, and simply wait to see how Alex would react. Except that her current reaction wasn't exactly to Piper's taste. Alex was giving her the silent treatment, pointedly ignoring her and never even looking at her.

At least this gave Piper the liberty to stare at will. She couldn't help herself. She wondered whether Alex could feel the weight of Piper's eyes on her but was being so stubborn in her silence that she even refused to ask Piper to cut it out. As they both lay on their respective bunks in the evenings, just before lights out, Piper would observe Alex reading a book with intense concentration as she had done many times before, almost a decade ago. And Piper would look forward to the moment when Alex took her glasses off in that way she had of making such a simple gesture unbelievably hot. That woman sure could rock a pair of glasses.

* * *

_Piper was staring at Alex, who was sprawled on the white wicker sofa on the terrace, reading a book. She loved seeing Alex like that, so wrapped up in a fictional world that she was oblivious to everything around her, her expression changing if she read a particularly happy or sad passage._

_Not for too long though. Piper loved it even more when Alex's attention was focused on her. "Watcha reading?" she asked in a childish voice as she approached her girlfriend._

"The Alchemist_ by Paolo Coelho. It's a lovely little allegorical fable about a shepherd who follows his dream and searches for his destiny."_

_Piper found Alex adorable when she became this enthusiastic about her books. It was quite a few months into their relationship when she first realised that Alex Vause could geek out like the best of them. Piper guessed it didn't quite fit with her tough girl image._

_Alex pushed her thick glasses up on top of her head and smiled at her girlfriend. The tall woman readjusted herself on the sofa so that she was a little bit more upright, and patted the space between her legs to invite Piper to join her. Piper was more than happy to do so. She sat in the space Alex had created and leaned back into the warm body, enjoying the feel of Alex's breasts on her back and her breath on her neck._

"_Do you believe in destiny?" Piper asked._

"_Mmm." Alex started drawing random patterns with her hand on Piper's stomach, while nuzzling the blonde woman's neck and inhaling her sweet smell. "I believe in doing what I want to do, where I want to do it and with who I want to do it. Wherever I want to be is where I'm meant to be, and right now that's right here with you." Alex placed a soft kiss on Piper's cheek, and both women stayed there enjoying the moment, the sound of the Indian Ocean nearby and the feeling of being in each other's arms._

* * *

Piper was getting increasingly frustrated with Alex pretending she didn't exist though they had to see each other everyday. Although she supposed she couldn't quite blame her, after all she had been quite clear as to what was going to happen after Piper picked Larry.

Meanwhile Alex was openly flirting with Nicky, and Piper couldn't help but think that some of the suggestive grins that Alex gave Nicky, that the way Alex laughed too loudly at some of her jokes, were somehow partly directed at her. Well, they had already established that she had a tendency to be self-involved...

As she observed the pair chatting from afar in the canteen, Piper felt herself get irrationally angry. When Alex left to start work in the laundry room, Piper got up and marched over to Nicky, determined.

"Taystee's right you know, I'm not going to walk away."

Nicky's eyes widened in surprise, and she looked unimpressed as she realised what Piper was talking about.

That expression was quickly replaced with an amused smirk, however, as Nichols taunted, "What you gonna do, Chapman, fight me?"

Piper was thrown by how dismissive the other inmate was being – she wasn't really sure what she had expected.

"No... but I am going to fight for her. I just... just wanted to let you know", she finished lamely.

"Oooookay then Romeo, duly noted", Nichols replied before walking away.

So Piper decided that she had to step up her game, and that it was time for Part 2 of her Big Wooing Operation. She knew Alex loved her, she just had to convince the other woman that she truly wanted to set their messy past aside and be with her. Chapman enlisted Taystee's help, and the prison librarian was happy to get involved with Piper's plan, which provided a welcome distraction from the monotony of prison life. Piper also suspected that Taystee had a hidden romantic side to her and was rooting for Chapman to get her girl.

That didn't mean that Taystee would do things for free however, and Piper had to supply large amounts of commissary candy in exchange for the woman using her limited library budget to place an order for a specific book.

When it finally arrived, Piper took a deep breath to gather her courage, and placed the book prominently on Alex's bunk along with a note that said "In your arms is where I'm meant to be". Even Piper, the hopeless romantic, thought it was a bit on the cheesy side, but if she was going to do this whole wooing thing, she was going to do it properly. Piper was never usually the one to do the chasing, but now that she was finally 100% sure of who she wanted to be with she wasn't going to stop until she got her. Piper then scampered away to busy herself elsewhere, her heart pounding in her chest. She was absolutely terrified of how Alex would react.

* * *

What was Piper doing to her? It was difficult enough living with her, spending so much time so close that she knew she could get up and hold her in her arms with only a couple of steps. And now the stubborn woman was insisting on these grand romantic gestures that sent Alex into a turmoil of emotions she found it difficult to cope with.

Staring at _The Alchemist,_ placed with care on her bunk along with a ridiculously sweet note, Alex was reminded of all the good times with Piper, of the lazy afternoons spent cuddling and basking in each other's company. Alex wanted nothing more than to believe Piper, to give in to the comfort she knew she would provide in the crowded yet lonely place they were stuck in, and to go back to the time when the two women were everything to each other.

But she was still angry at the other woman and wasn't sure she would be able to forgive Piper for crushing her a second time. There was no way of knowing whether Piper's newfound confidence in her decision was merely the result of Larry taking himself out of the equation, and she was convinced that if she went back to her, Piper was going to break her heart all over again. She couldn't let herself get sucked back in.

She grabbed the book and, mustering all her strength, ripped it in half right along the edge. She placed both halves on Piper's bed, where they looked out of place like the sprawled victim in a crime scene. "Well, if this isn't a metaphor for my own heart...", Alex thought.

But she couldn't help herself, she took the lovingly handwritten note and placed it with care in her secret box under the bed, along with her most precious possessions from the outside world and a single, yellow flower. Just because she was trying to wean herself from her Piper Chapman addiction didn't mean she couldn't keep mementos of the good times, Alex reasoned with herself. Although if anyone ever found this uncharacteristic display of sentimentality, she would deny ownership vehemently.

Looking at what she had done, she wasn't sure she could stomach being there to witness Piper's reaction, and left their cube until it was time for the last check before lights out. Piper was already in bed when she returned, having moved both halves of the book to her bedside table, and as the blonde woman stood up for count Alex noticed her puffy eyes, purposefully looking anywhere but at her.

"Shit", Alex thought. As she lay in bed that night, hoping that sleep would come, she heard her ex-girlfriend cry herself to sleep as quietly as she could. Alex felt guilty and sad at having done that to her, and then became angry at Piper for making her feel that way after having stomped on her heart so recently. Part of Alex wanted Piper to hurt just as much as she had hurt her. What was Piper doing to her?

**So things still aren't great between the two, but as one reviewer pointed out, I do think it's more realistic that Alex would need time to forgive Piper. I promise things are going to get better very very soon ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Because you're all amazing and your comments are the sweetest, a longer update than usual :)**

This was meant to be a good morning. Piper had just been driven back from the hospital by Morello, her right arm finally free of that godforsaken cast. But as she walked back into her cube in high spirits, these were immediately dashed by the sight of Alex and Nicky sat awfully close to each other on Alex's bunk. Piper felt like a bucket of ice water had just been emptied over her entire body.

Nicky looked up and seemed genuinely pleased for her. "Hey Mike Tyson! It's off! Not planning on punching anyone else anytime soon, are ya? Or are you more looking to take a bite of someone's ear?"

Piper smiled as best as she could, though it turned out more like a grimace. Alex's eyes flicked up to hers but betrayed nothing of what the dark-haired woman was thinking. Piper decided to attempt humour: "Nah I think I'll stick to Red's food, thanks, but I was thinking a face tattoo might make me look more fierce?"

Nicky laughed good-naturedly and Piper sat down to sort a few things out before heading to the library. Alex turned to Nicky and flirtatiously placed her hand on the other inmate's knee, eyebrows raised. "So... how long do we have before work?" she purred, slowly moving her hand up Nicky's leg. Even the recipient of this sudden affection seemed surprised.

Piper felt bile rising in her throat, certain Alex was deliberately overdoing it to spite her yet powerless to stop her body's response. "Do you have to do that right in front of me?" she spat.

Nichols looked uncomfortable, unsure how to react. This wasn't her fight. She turned to Alex to see what she would do.

Sure enough, Alex happily rose to the occasion to snap at Piper: "Oh come off it Chapman, just the other day you were whining to me about Larry not calling you back when we were actually getting together." Everyone present could almost taste the venom in every word.

"That was different, we were having an affair!" Piper tried to keep her voice down and failed miserably, becoming slightly hysterical. "You knew I was getting married when I came in here. I know I have no right to tell you who to fool around with, but at least have the decency to not rub it in my face!", Piper yelled as she stormed out, not quite managing to keep her voice from squeaking at the end of her sentence.

Nicky sighed at Chapman's retreating form. "Jesus fucking Christ, you two are ridiculous. Who needs soap operas when we've got our very own middle school dyke drama right here live at Litchfield!"

Alex looked ashamed. She was behaving like a petulant teenager. "Nicky..."

Nicky just rolled her eyes as she stood up. "Save it, kid. We're fine, I just have to get to work. Got some very important wires to fiddle with."

What a shame. Nichols knew Vause could be a great source of comfort for her in this shithole. They had great banter, she was hot as fuck and the sex was fantastic. Besides, Nicky genuinely cared for the woman. But she should've known she could never replace Chapman in Vause's heart, and if messing around with the sexy tattooed inmate meant getting caught up in their complicated fuckfest of emotion, she wasn't sure she wanted a part of it.

* * *

After lunch, Piper sat in the TV room hoping to distract herself from her thoughts, which inevitably turned to Alex. Alex in prison, Alex back in that former life of theirs, always Alex, Alex, Alex. Unfortunately, as hard as she tried to not be bored to death by Taystee's surprising preference for wildlife documentaries, she kept coming back to her conclusion that she had well and truly fucked everything up this time.

And who should come in to the common room at that moment, as if to provide living proof in case she needed it for her moment of self-flagellation, but the object of her every current dream and nightmare. Alex didn't seem particularly pleased to see her either, though she tried to pretend like she hadn't at all, but sat down defiantly and aggressively opened up the newspaper that had been left on the table. Alex spent a few moments looking bored while flicking through its contents. But through Piper's eyes who had known her so well, although they currently only dared observe through regular sideways glances, the woman who usually appeared so effortless in her rockabilly coolness seemed to be trying hard to appear unaffected.

Until, that is, Alex's back straightened and she leaned forward, her attention genuinely caught by the words on the page. She looked troubled, but Piper didn't have time to guess any more before Alex slammed the paper down on the table and walked straight out of the room.

Piper did a quick sweep of the gathered inmates, wondering whether anybody had noticed anything unusual. Yoga Jones and Sister Ingalls were playing cards in comfortable silence at a table, while Pousséy seemed to be enjoying messing around with Taystee. "As IF your first reflex would be to punch the motherfucker on the nose!", she laughed, while Taystee enthusiastically mimed her idea of getting out of a shark attack. "My hand ain't going anywhere near those teeth!"

Piper went over to the table Alex had just left, curious. She grabbed the abandoned newspaper and there she read, in a minuscule column amongst other insignificant news items: _Neil Burley, drummer of legendary rock band Deathmayne, dies of a heroin overdose, aged 66._

"Shit."

* * *

_Another party, another evening surrounded by nameless strangers. Piper sat alone on a couch, feeling alone and dejected. Alex had neglected her all evening to take care of urgent business issues that had been stressing her out for weeks. Piper had known her girlfriend was going to have to spend most of the night flitting between various intimidating men she refused to know anything about, but she had still come along. For moral support, she told herself, or in the hopes of something exciting happening, she suspected, but most importantly to be near Alex. This she knew._

_A tall, blonde man sat down next to her, sending her what she knew he thought was a disarmingly charming smile._

"_What's a pretty lady like you doing here all alone?", he asked in a way that made Piper suspect it wasn't the first time he had said this to a woman._

"_Who said I was alone?" Piper retorted, hoping the stranger would take a hint from her disinterested tone. "I'm here with my girlfriend."_

"_Oh really?!" There it was, that way of overpronouncing the 'r', that arching of the eyebrows to accompany the spreading smile. That reaction that some men had, as if this information was somehow deliberately shared for their own personal enjoyment, or even to present them with an opportunity. The very reason Piper often found it easier to reply with half-truths or awkward, gender-neutral pronouns. "Well she doesn't seem to be taking very good care of you. Maybe what you need tonight is a real man."_

_Piper would have marvelled at this guy's quick transition from self-proclaimed charmer to true creep if it weren't so utterly gross._

"_Seriously?!" she snapped. "First of all, I never said I wasn't interested in both men and women." Piper hated labels but sometimes it seemed like for some reason people needed them to actually understand certain situations. "Second of all, just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm not monogamous, thankyouverymuch."_

_Piper's anger just seemed to amuse the creep and turn him on even more, to her complete frustration._

"_Well maybe your girlfriend would like to join us", he leered. "Or I would be OK with just watching..."_

_Piper couldn't believe what she was hearing. Instead of raising her voice, the rage she felt made her lower it and narrow her eyes, one corner of her mouth almost raised in disgust. "What is it that makes some straight men think that you can invite yourselves into our bed?"_

_She would never be sure whether the guy genuinely interpreted this as a question deserving an answer or whether he was just so set on his journey to sexual assault that he saw no reason to change tack._

"_I promise I'll show you both a really good time", he said as he reached out to place his huge paw on Piper's thigh._

"_Just stay away from me!" Piper stood up abruptly, her previously defiant countenance well and truly replaced by fear._

_A tall form suddenly appeared in front of Piper as a dangerously low voice warned, "You heard the lady. Stay away from her." The relief at knowing Alex was nearby was instant, and Piper started reaching for her arm. She could've sworn she heard Alex growl._

_The man took a step forward, his menacing grimace attempting to intimidate Alex, who responded with a glacial stare that proved she wasn't threatened by the taller man. "Oh yeah? Or what?" he taunted._

_Alex didn't even bother replying, swinging her right fist so hard into the bully's jaw that he flew backwards onto the glass table which shattered underneath him, sending glasses full of liquid all over the floor._

_Alex lost out on deals worth thousands of dollars that evening, and she would have to make it up to her boss. But Piper made sure her girlfriend knew just how grateful she was, and didn't rest until she had made her come three times in a row._

_As they lay pressed together, exhausted and sweaty and sated, Piper looked up into Alex's grey eyes, full of admiration and pride and love, and murmured "My hero"._

* * *

Alex's dad had died. Piper knew he was a deadbeat father who had disappointed his daughter the one time she met him, but she also suspected his death would affect Alex and bring a lot of painful memories back. She remembered that night in Thailand, when they lay on a secluded beach staring at the millions of shining stars in the sky, and Alex had told her about her dad, lying with her head on Piper's shoulder. Piper's heart ached as her strong girlfriend told the story of her childhood, and of the hopeful teenager who had sought her father out only to find he was a complete asshole.

After she found out the news, Piper wanted nothing more than to wrap Alex in her arms again and make sure she was OK. She desperately wanted to at least try and redeem herself for one of the worst mistakes of her life, that fateful night that she abandoned her girlfriend when she needed her the most. She knew leaving Alex was a good decision at that point. She couldn't handle the drugs anymore, the way Alex just didn't seem to get that it was a big deal to ask her to get involved again. But leaving her to go to her mother's funeral alone was unforgivable.

Chapman sat in the common room a while longer, pondering her options. There was no way Alex was going to let Piper anywhere near her. She was still angry and lashing out, and Piper knew she had probably been coming on too strong with her grand plan and needed to give her some space. Besides, she didn't think her own heart could handle another of Alex's ruthless rejections. But she wanted to make sure her ex-girlfriend got what comfort she could in this miserable place. Piper left the room to find Nichols.

* * *

"Hey kid", Nicky said cautiously as she entered the laundry room. She dumped her bag of tools on the table where Alex was busying herself folding piles of identical clothing. "I just came to check on the, errrr, lights", she added unconvincingly, pointing at random to one of the perfectly functional ones on the ceiling. "How are you doing?" she asked a little too earnestly to be just casual conversation.

Alex raised her eyebrows, barely looking up from her task. "Let me guess. Chapman?"

Nichols laughed drily. "She's just concerned, Sherlock. Asked me to check on you."

"Well you can run right back to her and tell her there was no need." Alex felt bad at being so unnecessarily short with Nicky when she knew the other inmate was only trying to help.

"Listen, Vause. I know your dad was a dick. But even if my mom is a complete cunt I'm sure I'd have some... feelings if she croaked. Not that it's a strong possibility, the bitch will outlive us all."

Voluntarily talking about feelings must've been quite a struggle for the sarcastic inmate, and Alex appreciated the effort. Still, the last thing she wanted to do was talk about her own. She looked up from the laundry into Nicky's eyes, her voice a little softer in an attempt to show that she wasn't mad at Nicky, but still firm. "Well I have no feelings. You should probably take care of that emergency repair of yours", she added with a hint of a smile.

"Suit yourself, kid." Nicky looked up at the lights. "A thorough visual inspection has confirmed my advanced analysis that there is nothing wrong." The amateur electrician nodded, before shouldering her bag of tools and giving Vause her signature cocky smile as she sauntered out of the room.

* * *

Alex made it through the rest of the day on autopilot, purposefully ignoring Piper's concerned gaze when she got back to her bunk and as they prepared for bed. Alex genuinely hadn't thought she would feel anything if her absent father ever passed away, and she more importantly didn't want to.

But when the lights went out, lying in a foetal position on her uncomfortable bunk, Alex unexpectedly started crying. Not for the man who had just died but for the father she never had, for the crushing disappointment of finding out that her real one was nothing like her fantasies, and for how different things were turning out to how she had dared to imagine. Lying in the dark, she wondered what her mother would say if she could see her only child she had worked so hard to give a happy life to: stuck in prison for years, miserable, heartbroken, and so desperately alone. Unable to stop the sudden outpouring of emotion, Alex Vause wept for her life.

Piper lay with her back to Alex, pondering her options. She wanted nothing more than to rush over to her ex-girlfriend and hold her, but she lay still, playing the different scenarios in her head several times, wondering whether Alex would blow her off. Eventually she decided the risk was worth it, as her heart just couldn't bear to lie there listening to Alex cry her eyes out.

Piper got out of her bunk quietly, keeping her head down so as not to alert the guards. Approaching Alex's curled up form, she tentatively reached out and softly placed her hand on a shoulder, gauging her reaction. Alex's body stiffened, but she didn't move away. Encouraged, Piper slowly let her arm stroke the other woman's arm until, after a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Alex shifted forward ever so slightly, almost imperceptibly. But Piper's heart soared. It was all the permission she needed. Carefully, Piper climbed into Alex's bunk, positioning herself as her big spoon and wrapping a comforting arm around her middle. She went so far as to risk a tender kiss on Alex's shoulder, hoping she would understand that it was OK, that she was there for her, that Alex could let herself be vulnerable. And she did. As Alex's sobs continued racking her body, she gently repositioned her hand over Piper's on her own stomach, and gave a small, grateful squeeze.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm very sorry for the delay, although to be honest I'm impressed I made time for this at all as I've suddenly gotten ridiculously busy so please don't expect extremely regular updates :( That being said the reviews and other forms of encouragement are the only reason I forced myself to sit down and write the stuff I had planned, so thank you very much, you're the best!**

The next morning, Piper Chapman felt happier than she had in a long time. Her and Alex had slept so soundly that when the familiar piercing sound announced the first check of the morning, they were still both entwined on Alex's bunk, arms wrapped around each other with the taller woman's head resting underneath Piper's chin. They woke up abruptly and stood awkwardly apart, staring at the ground as two guards came by, clicking away. When they were gone, Alex muttered: "Last night doesn't change anything", before grabbing her towel and heading for the shower.

But when Piper later stopped by her empty cube before going to the library, she saw that the two halves of the book she had given Alex were no longer on her bedside table. Instead, placed at the end of the row of books on Alex's side of the room was _The Alchemist,_ its edge carefully put back together with commissary duct tape.

Piper smiled. Things would still be difficult with her ex-lover and bunkmate, but Piper recognised the simple gesture for what it was in Vause-speak: an acknowledgement of their past, a small token of forgiveness signalling that Alex was no longer quite so angry with her, and a promise to no longer actively try and hurt Piper.

So Piper Chapman was happy as she skipped off to work, heartened by the thought that her relationship with Alex might be salvageable after all.

"_Open it." Piper sat on a plush hotel bed, staring at the thin rectangular box Alex had just delicately placed in front of her. Her girlfriend of a few months was crouched next to the bed, looking up hopefully into Piper's eyes in anticipation of her reaction. After their first meeting at that bar, Alex had continued to impress Piper by taking her out to cool places where she seemed perfectly at ease, leaving the younger woman to marvel at the fact that she was on dates with this incredibly sexy chick she would never have thought would even give her the time of day._

_But as the two women started seeing each other more, Piper also got to know the real Alex behind the confident strength of her drug dealer persona. And so when Alex had to go away and asked her to come along, Piper had no doubt in her mind that where she wanted to be was wherever Alex was. Somewhere along the line, it stopped being about her 23-year-old self wanting an adventure after graduating, and she realised that her feelings about the woman who had changed her life had become unexpectedly serious. But while Alex had often bought her presents in the past, more than happy to spend her ridiculous income on making Piper feel special, Piper couldn't help but doubt what exactly she meant to the other woman. Alex made no apologies of taking what she wanted out of life without stopping to analyse things, and Piper wondered whether Alex simply wanted someone to spend her money on and come home to after negotiating a drug deal._

_So as Piper stared at the box she hoped contained jewellery, she was overcome by what she felt was the momentousness of the occasion. She slowly reached out, and carefully opened the box to find a beautiful white gold necklace, a small and delicately crafted key hanging from the chain._

"_Oh Alex, it's beautiful." Piper murmured. Her girlfriend reached between her own breasts to show Piper the necklace she was wearing._

"_I bought myself one too." Piper looked at the pendant Alex was holding out, and her heart swelled at the sight of a small heart made of white gold, with a key hole cut right in its centre._

_She looked back at her own and, her voice quivering with emotion, asked "You're giving me the key to your heart?"_

_Alex simply nodded, and Piper was overwhelmed by the sincerity she saw swimming in the pale grey eyes. She readjusted herself on the bed to turn her back to Alex and pulled her hair aside to reveal her neck. Alex took the key necklace and silently handled the clasp, her fingers ghosting over Piper's skin._

_Admiring her new accessory, the blonde woman muttered, "Jesus Christ Alex, these must have cost you a fortune." Alex simply turned Piper around and smiled, switching to her usual bantering voice, seemingly embarrassed by her open display of emotion and the metaphorical meaning she had chosen for her present._

"_Well, you know what they say, you don't count when it comes to the one you love", she quipped, before apparently realising what she had just said as her eyes went wide._

_Both women froze at the accidental confession. Piper sat stunned on her bed, wondering if she had imagined that Alex had just said she loved her. She looked at her girlfriend who just stood there, her mouth opening and closing as her confident countenance melted and she started babbling like an awkward teenager._

"_Oh wow. I didn't mean – well, I do, but I didn't think – it just... fell out."_

_Piper smiled affectionately, appreciating the fact that she got to see this vulnerable side to the tough drug dealer she was dating. She stood up, never taking her eyes off Alex, and stepped closer to the taller woman._

"_You love me." It wasn't a question, just a simple statement. Piper was testing the words out loud, enjoying how they felt on her tongue, appreciating the fact that they were true._

_Alex nodded, looking like she didn't know whether to feel guilty about this fact, before quietly confirming, "Yeah. I do."_

"_I love you too", Piper replied, surely, reassuringly. She leaned in for a kiss that started off sweet and unhurried, as both women took their time to savour each other and convey the feelings they had just admitted they had for each other. But as tongues got bolder and breaths got louder, both women gave in to their passion and fell back into bed, proceeding to trace out every inch of each other's bodies that they had come to know off by heart._

That afternoon, Piper was surprised to find her cube crowded with inmates, and cheerfully asked: "Did my invitation to the bunk party get lost in the post?"

One look from Red told her she had said something wrong and she noticed, too late, that Morello was crying on Alex's bed, sat in between the latter and Nicky, who held a comforting arm around her shoulders. Silent Norma looked on concerned, stood next to her favourite cook, while Big Boo sat on Piper's bed scratching her puppy's ear.

"That bastard Christopher wrote to say he was engaged to someone else," Nichols tactfully explained.

"Oh. Shit, Lorna, I'm so sorry." Piper felt like an idiot, and had no idea what to say.

"How could I be so stupid?!" Morello was hysterical, her high-pitched words difficult to make out in between the tears and the snot. "You all knew it. You all knew it was over but I refused to believe it. Who did I think we were, Romeo and fucking Juliet?!"

"Romeo and Juliet were two horny 13-year-olds who couldn't distinguish between love and lust." Shit. Piper didn't need the murderous looks that were thrown her way to regret those words as soon as they escaped her mouth. Maybe she should say something more helpful. She crouched in front of the sobbing inmate and placed what she hoped was a reassuring hand on her knee. "Lorna, you're not stupid. You're human, and human beings shouldn't be made to live like we do. It makes things easier to hang on to someone on the outside as a sort of anchor to the real world, even if deep down inside you know it's not real anymore. It's like a survival instinct, it's completely natural."

Morello smiled a wet smile and squeezed Piper's hand in gratitude. The other inmates' attitude to Piper softened as she had seemingly redeemed herself for shoving her foot in her mouth earlier. But it was one inmate's reaction in particular that Piper was interested in, as she felt a heavy stare on her she was certain scientists could measure in tonnes. Alex was apparently trying to look into Piper's soul, suspecting that the words she had shared to reassure Morello came from a place of experience and wondering how she felt about that.

The ever-perceptive Nicky seemed to notice, looking awkwardly between the two ex-girlfriends. She patted Morello's shoulder and stood up, hoping a change of tone would help her own erstwhile lover snap out of her funk. "C'mon Morello, let's go make a dummy Christopher that you can run over with the van."

A murmur of approval rose from the assembled inmates.

"You can have your pick of vegetables for limbs", Red offered in her thick accent.

Norma nodded enthusiastically, taking a ribbon out of her hair to put it around her neck and mime that they could use it as a tie. As the group of misfits that Piper was coming to consider her prison family filed out of the cube, exchanging ideas for their makeshift voodoo ritual, Piper noticed that Alex hadn't moved from where she sat, eyeing her bunkmate curiously.

"Why did you pick him?" There it was. Alex hadn't wanted to ask, she didn't **want** to want to know. But she couldn't help it, Piper's words to Lorna had stirred something up inside of her and all the hurt from the recent rejection beat her stubborn refusal to acknowledge that Piper had yet again broken her heart.

Piper took a deep breath to gather her thoughts as she slowly sat on the edge of her own bunk. She couldn't believe Alex was talking to her again and willing to listen to her side of the story. She knew how important what she said next would be.

"I think... I think I desperately wanted to believe that I loved him the most. He fought for me. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me now even though I had messed up. I'm not saying it's your fault, Al, and that you didn't give me a reason to pick you, but I told you I loved you and you didn't say it back." Piper's voice cracked, and Alex's heart a little with it, but she stood her ground, willing Piper to continue. "He was safe. I think Polly got to my head as well, because that's what I was thinking, that he was safe and always knew when to order Chinese food." Alex frowned a little at that, not entirely sure she was following. "He had a ring and plans for our wedding, whereas I ended up in prison because of you. I know I committed the crime, Alex", Piper rushed to add as Alex had opened her mouth to protest. "I carried that suitcase and I deserve to do time, but you have to admit you were the one who asked me."

"You knew exactly what you were getting into!" Alex interrupted, frustrated at what she felt was the same point they had addressed many times before being rehashed again.

"No I didn't Alex, and neither did you," Piper snapped. "Yeah, I loved that you were fun and exciting and _dangerous_, but I never expected to fall in love with you the way I did and I don't think you did either. Not at the start."

Alex looked down, mollified. She couldn't exactly argue that point.

"You have to admit that on paper, it doesn't look too good..." Alex managed a bitter half-smile at that understatement. "But that's the thing about this place, if I'm learning anything here it's that I can't hide away from who I am or what I want, and what I want is you. We're messed up together, Al, but so beautifully messed up, and we don't have to be at all if we just try and get it right for once."

Alex closed her eyes, trying to sort through her conflicting emotions. Part of her wanted Piper to stop talking so she could go back to pretending she didn't exist, and part of her wanted nothing more than to jump right back into her arms. Piper stared at her with a quiet intensity and, after a few seconds, asked softly: "What would you have said, if I had asked you to pick?"

Alex looked up confused. "What, between you and Larry?"

A little laugh reluctantly escaped Piper's mouth. "No, you idiot. Between me and..." she paused, wondering how to phrase what she meant. "Between me and your pathological inability to make a plan. I would never ask you to give up who you are because I love you, the whole of you, but what would you have said if I had asked you to promise to never do illegal shit again, to promise to love me forever and that we could figure the rest out together?"

Encouraged by the fact that Alex had opened up the bridge to communication, Piper got up and crouched in front of her in her enthusiasm to share the fantasies that she had had of their future together while she was rotting in the SHU.

"We could carry on travelling. I could teach and sell soaps, and you could write! You love books and you have so many interesting stories, you could write while we sit on that beach in Cambodia. Or..." Piper faltered, wary of making Alex think she was trying to impose things on her. "Or you could do whatever you want, there has to be a job out there that doesn't involve drugs but wouldn't bore you to death." Piper slowed down, tried to gauge Alex's reaction.

Alex sat there, overwhelmed by Piper's words, not realising that her eyes were glistening with tears.

"I know I'm getting way ahead of myself here, but think about it, Al. You and me again. For real. I know I hurt you. Several times, and I am so sorry." Piper started crying in earnest now. "I am so so sorry about your Mom, and about being an indecisive dipshit. But if we can just manage to put the fucked up shit that we've done to each other aside, we could be great. You're the love of my life, Alex, and I know now that I need you to fully be myself. We're going to be spending a lot more time in here together, and if I have to spend all of it proving this to you, I will. You've always felt so inevitable to me because that's exactly what we are to each other."

Alex didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe she was hearing these words, words that she had hoped to hear come out of that mouth so many times before. But she doubted she should let herself believe them, wondering whether something had broken between her and Piper that couldn't be fixed that second time that Piper chose herself over Alex.

She shook her head, her wet eyes focused nowhere in particular, and opened her mouth without quite knowing what was going to come out of it. "Piper..."

A small yapping sound suddenly came from the entrance of their cube, and Piper jumped up, turning to wipe the tears away from her face.

"Hey lovebirds, sorry to interrupt". Big Boo stood there, her arm draped on the low wall of the cube, a shit-eating grin indicating she was anything but sorry. "Just thought you might want to know that Leann just got out of the SHU. I'd watch my back if I were you, Chapman, she looks out for blood," she added for Piper's benefit.

**A/N: I'm not entirely sure how I feel about how this one's turned out because I'm tired and haven't properly proofread. Also to one guest reviewer: you've managed to mention two things that I was planning on making happen (one of which you can now guess) so, err, well done. Little creepy, but yeah, hopefully you'll like how I deal with it :)**


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